What Women Actually Experience at Swingers Clubs

Most coverage of this scene is written from a male point of view. Between 2024 and 2026, accounts from women running clubs and women attending them grew noticeably more visible. The good and the bad both appear.

The Women Who Built It

Jess Cattelly, who built a Sydney club nominated in six categories at Australia's adult industry awards, knows exactly what women imagine before they arrive. "A lot of people think of a sex club as a nightclub where weird men grope you." Her club confiscates phones and runs a "parents' night" on Sunday afternoons. She has kept it running even after splitting from her business partner. (Marie Claire Australia, 31 Dec 2024)

Carmen Quijano of Torrente, Valencia, Spain, first got involved doing interior design work before taking over the club. Her method is assigning every new visitor a dedicated guide. "A newcomer gets one person entirely to themselves." When the pandemic forced the club to close for about a year, members voluntarily sent donations ranging from 150 to 2,000 euros. (Merca2, 16 Nov 2025)

The Women Who Attend

A Dutch magazine for women over 50 interviewed Gerrie, 52, and Tom, 56, together for 30 years. They've been going to couples clubs for the past decade; before that, they met privately with acquaintances. Gerrie put it this way: "Jealousy isn't about the other person — it's a feeling inside me." (Saar Magazine, 17 Apr 2025)

Czech journalist Klára Kutilová went to a Berlin club with her partner. After thoroughly discussing their relationship beforehand, she didn't personally participate once there — yet she wrote that the experience deepened her trust in her partner. "I confirmed that my partner respects me." (Flowee, 20 Oct 2024)

In Melbourne, a woman writing under the pen name "Liv Arnold" went to a club with her husband to try to save a marriage in crisis from severe anxiety, and wrote that the experience helped restore confidence and openness in their relationship. (Now To Love, 26 Feb 2025)

The Other Side of the Record

The BBC podcast "Swingers" covered the case of a woman who says her husband pressured her into sex more than 100 times through a swinging site. Freedom-of-information requests filed by the production team with 45 UK police forces found 329 crime reports linked to the site between 2023 and April 2026 — roughly one every three days. 26 people had been charged or summonsed, with 23 cases still ongoing. Fifty more people came forward with tips after the broadcast.

Professor Nicola Gavey of the University of Auckland put it this way: "It's entirely possible for people to consent to sex they don't want." (North Wales Live, 28 Jun 2026)

Having the form of consent in place and there being no coercion are two different things. That distinction is the single most important sentence in this piece.

In Finland, three alleged rapes at a members-only club were all closed without charges in 2025. One involved an alleged broken condom agreement during group sex, but the alleged perpetrator could not be identified. (Yle, 28 Aug 2025)

One Number

In Argentina's first national community census, run in 2024 by the Asociación Swinger Libre, 6% of the 1,300 respondents were single women — versus 66% couples and 27% single men. (Infobae, 24 Sep 2024)

In any community, they're the fewest in number — and therefore the participants who most need to be treated with the greatest care.

What ZAVOS Does for Women Members

ZAVOS admits women members through a separate process. They become full members after an in-person interview and get priority in a meetup's decisions. Real names, phone numbers, and photos of faces are never collected. Before a meetup, city organizers personally check STI test results and discard them immediately. "No" is instantly "Stop," and no explanation is demanded.

Not advertising the gender ratio is also a rule. ZAVOS never writes copy like "lots of women come." It knows exactly what kind of person a line like that attracts.

FAQ

Can I go alone? At paid clubs, couples' pricing often means single women are actually welcomed. ZAVOS is a membership built around individuals, with a separate vetting process.

What if something uncomfortable happens? The first thing is choosing a place where someone is actually watching the rules. A place with no awareness team or staff on hand leaves almost no way to prove anything after the fact.

Sources: see the links in the text.