What Is a Swingers Club? What Actually Happens Inside, from Sydney to Drenthe

Most people who search for swingers clubs want to check whether what they've seen in movies is real. The accounts of people who have actually walked through the door tell a rather different story.

Sydney: The Door Does the Talking

Sydney's Our Secret Spot runs a "newbie night" reserved for first-time visitors. One of the things they learn that night is the language of the doors. An open door means come in and join; a roped-off door means you can watch but not participate; a closed door means stay out. No one has to ask, and no one has to hear a rejection. (Super Fit Dad, 2 Jan 2025)

Jess Cattelly, who built the club, says first-timers show up imagining a sex club as "a nightclub where weird men grope you." The door rules exist to erase that image. (Marie Claire Australia, 31 Dec 2024)

Drenthe and Balen: Twenty Years, and Opening the Doors to Look

Erorama in Drenthe, the Netherlands, marked its 20th anniversary in 2026. As other clubs in the industry keep closing, it still draws hundreds of visitors a week, mostly in their 40s to 60s. What the club's floor manager stresses is surprising: you don't have to have sex just because you came. Owner Jan van Duyvenbode said, "The image people have is usually different from reality." (Hart van Nederland, 6 Jun 2026)

Eroxx in Balen, Belgium, held an open day in August 2025 where visitors could tour the venue fully clothed. Owner Bart Jacobs said, "I want to show that this isn't some cheap, run-of-the-mill club." Weekday afternoon visitors number around 200, and Saturdays are couples-only. (VRT NWS, 24 Aug 2025)

Nothing Happens in the First Hour

Australian columnist James Innes-Smith went to a paid event billed as bringing together "the world's sexual elite," and wrote that the people he actually met were ordinary middle-aged couples looking for intimacy, and that most attendees hadn't had sex by the time the night ended. The piece was headlined "There's nothing sexy about a sex party." (The Spectator Australia, 25 Jan 2025)

A student journalist who covered a London party recorded going through a dress check at the door and having a sticker placed over her camera lens. She interviewed four attendees, aged 30 to 57, most of whom talked about communication and feeling safe before they talked about sex. (The Boar, 4 Jun 2025)

What the Club Is Actually Selling

Carmen Quijano, who runs Club Palladium in Valencia, Spain, assigns every new visitor a dedicated guide. "A newcomer gets one person entirely to themselves." When the pandemic forced the club to close for about a year, members voluntarily sent donations ranging from 150 to 2,000 euros. (Merca2, 16 Nov 2025)

Even though it's a paid club, the reason members sent their own money wasn't the facility. It was the people.

What Overlaps

• Doors and signals — Where: Sydney · What it does: lets people decline without saying a word
• Newbie nights and dedicated guides — Where: Sydney, Valencia · What it does: never leaves a first-timer alone
• Sealed cameras and confiscated phones — Where: Berlin, London, Sydney · What it does: keeps the party from leaking outside
• "You don't have to" — Where: Drenthe, Berlin · What it does: removes the pressure

ZAVOS Is Not a Club

ZAVOS has no door and no sign. City-based member communities let vetted members meet privately; participants split the actual cost of the venue and food equally, and organizers take no pay. What Sydney's door does, ZAVOS's wristband does instead. Its color says what it's currently open to, and whatever the wristband doesn't say is not permitted.

FAQ

Do I have to participate? Every club above says no. One Berlin party even spelled it out as a house rule: "Sex may happen, but it doesn't have to."

Can I go alone? Paid clubs usually charge couples less, which puts singles at a disadvantage. ZAVOS is a membership built around individuals.

Do I have to give my real name? It varies by club. ZAVOS does not collect real names, phone numbers, or photos of faces. Members know each other only by nickname.

Sources: see the links in the text.